The Beginning of Something New

I didn't set out to be a writer.  In fact, the whole idea feels a lot more like God's idea than my own.

Obedience isn't glamorous, but it's worship.  It's a removal of our own self as priority and saying in surrender, "Lord, whatever you have for me, I'll do it."  Saying that feels heavy for me, as though I've already worked out the details perfectly in my own life.  Let me assure you, that is not the case.  I've wrestled over this idea.  I've fought God on the details, that the whole thing sounds too big, too lofty, too much for me to take on.  A few Instagram posts here a there, that's comfortable to me, even when I'm being vulnerable in what I share.  But this, starting an actual blog, actually choosing to really write, well, that feels like too much.

It all started in motion last July, although God had placed the seeds in my heart long before then.  The year of 2018 was my year for not having any major goals in life.  Call if selfish if you will, but it was a time for taking advantage of the opportunities I had been given.  I was finally finished with that third degree, a story in itself, so school was no longer looming over me.  I finally had what felt like extra time in my life to do the things I had passed on before.  I had two big trips planned that turned into three.  I was content with the way things were going.

Content until July, anyway.  By then, my three trips were complete and I didn't have much lined up for the remainder of the year.  I began to get the feeling of being restless.  I can't explain this feeling exactly, but I have found that I have experienced it before every major event in my life in recent memory.  It's an antsy feeling inside of me, like nothing is quite settled, but I'm very much at peace in the midst of it.  I believe it is the Lord preparing me for what is to come, whatever that thing may be.  I find myself seeking Him intentionally in these seasons of feeling restless, when I know that something is about to shift for me, but I don't know what it's going to be.  Restless with what is, anticipating what is to come.

I felt restless, so I began to ask the Lord what the next thing was He had for me.  The thoughts of writing felt to me like they came out of nowhere.  I had been told before by dear friends in my life that I was a good writer, that they appreciated my sharing my words.  But I had never considered doing more than a few Instagram posts here and there, sharing what I am learning.  But I began to pray: "God, if you want me to write, show me how to do it.  Show me the next steps I should take because I don't know how to do this on my own."

Within the next day or two, an author I have read and that I follow on Instagram, Jess Connolly, began to share online about a new venture she was undertaking in the fall called Go & Tell Gals.  It was a semester of coaching teams of women in the area where God had called them, providing tracks specific to Small Business, Ministry, and Writing/Publishing.  I couldn't believe it.  I guess I should have, but it was like this arrow dropped directly in front of me: "Go this way."

So, I said yes.  I signed up the morning that registration opened, afraid that if I waited I would talk myself out of it.  I was a little terrified of what I had just done.  A little unsure of what God was going to do through these coaching sessions.  A lot of questions were answered during this time for me, but opened up just as many questions for me still.  I'm not seeking fame or fortune.  I'm simply being obedient to do the thing that God has very clearly laid before me.

If we have been given gifts or talents, let's use them to glorify God and for the benefit of others.  For me, for now, that's writing.  It's something I've enjoyed privately for a lot of years.  I mean it when I say it, "Whatever you ask me to do, Lord, I will."  It is loving and obedient, an act of worship, to use the gifts and talents I have been given.

I hope and I pray that I would be a wise steward of the gift.  That the words that I write would serve as an encouragement to the people who read them.  That through them, you might see Him more clearly.  That I will be willing to follow the Lord to the place where He calls me to go.  I can't say with certainty today what will come of this act of obedience.  I don't have a full list of practical steps in place on what writing will actually look like for me.  Instagram, blogs, even a book? Yes, Lord willing.  I'm hoping that you will invite a friend along and together we will be here, willing and obedient to the place God has us already, trusting Him for the places He is taking us next.